Going through a divorce can be one of the most stressful experiences of a person’s life, but it does not have to be. Pursuing an amicable divorce with your spouse can help you navigate the process smoothly and effectively. When there are children involved, pursuing an amicable, low-conflict divorce is even more important. Working toward an amicable divorce takes patience, diligence, and persistence, but the benefits are worth it.
- Do Your Homework
The divorce process is more complicated than many people realize. Even if you and your spouse agree on all of the major issues, an issue could arise that results in conflict. You may want to sit down with your soon-to-be ex-spouse and go over your divorce details. Pursuing mediation can be helpful if you disagree with an issue you disagree on. You should also become familiar with the laws governing divorce in your state. Each state has its laws regarding fault-based and no-fault divorce. They also have residency requirements you will need to meet before you where your spouse can file for divorce.
Obtaining an amicable divorce does not happen without some effort. A divorce can bring up many negative emotions and issues that lead to conflict. Taking time to think about the practical steps you can take to pursue an amicable divorce will help you meet your goals. Keep informing yourself about ways to keep your divorce civil and amicable. You may want to consider mediation with a neutral third party or a divorce therapist who can give you additional tools.
- Take Care of Yourself
Remember that the divorce process is stressful, whether it is amicable or high conflict. Separating and creating your own life is emotionally exhausting. During the process, be prepared to be kind to yourself. Understand that you will probably need to take time for more self-care. Try to eat as healthy as possible, get enough sleep, and exercise. Protecting your mental and physical health will help you navigate the process and remain respectful to yourself and everyone involved.
- Focus on Kindness to Yourself and Others
The divorce process can bring up all different kinds of emotions, some positive but many negative. One day you may feel positive and empowered about your decision. The next day you may be feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Realize that any feeling you experience is valid. Take time to process your emotions and focus on being kind to yourself, validating that this is a challenging experience.
- Set a Good Example for Your Children
Having children and going through a divorce is another layer of complexity. Remember that your children are always watching you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse. They probably feel a wide range of emotions and will benefit from a strong support system. When pursuing an amicable divorce, it is crucial that you not speak negatively about your soon-to-be ex-spouse, especially in front of your children. When people talk negatively about their ex-spouses, it shows that they haven’t maturely dealt with the divorce or taken ownership of their part in the divorce.
By respectfully speaking about your soon-to-be ex-spouse, you are setting an example for your children. Doing so will also set the groundwork for an amicable co-parenting agreement with your ex-spouse. The more stability you can provide your children during this time, the better for everyone involved.
- Learn to Forgive Yourself and Others
When going through a divorce, it can be easy to dwell on the past and all the mistakes you and your spouse have made. Forgiveness is an essential aspect of an amicable divorce. When you forgive yourself and your ex-spouse, you will give yourself the freedom to move forward. Try to think about our good times and forgive each other for the bad times you’ve experienced.
- Focus on Your Future, Not Your Past
Now that you are pursuing a divorce, it is wise to think about your marriage as in the past. While processing all of the complex emotions involved in a divorce, it can be easy to focus on all the negative behavior your spouse engaged in during the marriage. When you find yourself going down that trail, it is best to stop yourself and try to think about the future. You may want to make a list of things for which you are grateful or a list of things you are looking forward to once the divorce is finalized.
- Invest in a Divorce Coach or Therapist
Going through a divorce is a new experience if you have not been divorced before. Getting help from a professional during a major life change is brave. Many therapists and divorce coaches have an in-depth understanding of people’s difficulties when going through a divorce. They can provide you with a listening ear, sensible advice, and the compassion you need while you are pursuing an amicable divorce.
- Identify Your Goals
Taking some time to identify your goals can help you focus on the things that are important to you. It can be easy to fight about issues that are not especially relevant to your future. For example, if you raised your children in your family home and staying in her family home is essential, make sure you discuss that aspect with your attorney. If there are issues with co-parenting that are important to you, focus on coming to an amicable solution regarding those issues.
- Reach Out to an Experienced Uncontested Divorce Attorney
If you were pursuing an amicable divorce in Texas, you might be able to obtain an uncontested divorce. In an uncontested divorce, both parties agree to all of the significant aspects of the divorce. By pursuing an uncontested divorce, you can save significant money, time, and stress.
At Divorce Concierge, we provide Texas clients with affordable, flat-rate divorce services. We use our experience to help clients finalize their uncontested divorces so they can move on and begin a fresh start. If you are interested in pursuing an amicable divorce in Texas, contact Divorce Concierge today.